Heidi week #6

or...
"37 Days Doth Not a Habit Break"
or...
"Kicking against the pricks"
or...
"Falling off the wagon"

take your pick of blog titles. They all apply to me this past week. I really do feel like I was "kicking against the pricks" last week. I was so hard-hearted and hard-headed. I truly apologize to anyone who I offended or was rude to. Winter blues? hormones? stress? Maybe all of the above, but it isn't an excuse.

And here's my main downfall... Jason was at school on Friday and I gave in and totally destroyed my face. No... REALLY. It was not a pretty sight. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it was downright scary after I was done. I would compare it to someone who has been dieting for a while and it all came down to that binge - nothing held back. I even took pictures afterwards. I told Jason that if I do this again, he has permission to post the pictures on here. He said he would never do that, but still I think I'll print them & put them on my mirror. They are hideous. I almost didn't go to church today...that's how bad it was.
I know most of you think this is ridiculous and even silly, but it is something I have been trying to kick for years and I would even consider it somewhat of an addiction, which was why I was so thankful for avoiding it for so long. The problem is that I really thought the answer was just avoiding the popping. At first my face seemed to clear up and it was great, but then it got really bad - underground zits galore, and just more in general.
So, now I don't know what to do. Someone respond who is an expert in facial care. I know I need to be more consistent with my washing & such, but I wasn't too bad. I don't want to spend a fortune on skin care, but maybe my cleanser or moisturizer is the problem?? Whatever the case, obviously I need help. I NEVER want to look like I did this past weekend. And at the same time, it will drive me crazy to just have all these zits that are there and noticeable. I just want CLEAR skin. Help!

OK - sorry for that rant. I'm just feeling really bad about it and I don't have the answers.

Here's a general break-down from this past week:

HIGHLIGHTS:
-I worked on more memory stuff & scrapbooked about 3 more pages for Ireland
-Media: I'm reading a good book and just watched FIREPROOF. You HAVE to watch it. I'm going to post about it on my blog. SO inspirational.
-We paid our tithing & a good fast offering today. I am so thankful Jason got a couple deals in at work before he left. Thank you Father!
-I think I was 5 for 7 in love notes from God.
-Progress on computer time. The girls are asleep as I write & that makes me feel better!
-I exercised 3 times, but I went for longer times & pushed myself more.
-I made some good meals this week, including a slow cooker recipe and homemade bread today!

THINGS I'M GOING TO FOCUS ON THIS WEEK:
-Taking care of my face. Researching about things that might be giving me acne - pillows? hormones? holding the phone to my face?
-Try to see (and LOVE) myself and others as Jesus does.
-Serve others more often & more cheerfully
-Be more open and humble as I pray and read my scriptures
-Fruits & Veggies
-Spending quality time with my dear sisters, whom I love so much.

I was feeling pretty down in sacrament meeting, but as I read this verse from "The Lord is my Light," I had to fight the tears. I know He loves me & will help me in my desires.

The Lord is my light, the Lord is my strength;
I know in His might I’ll conquer at length;
My weakness in mercy He covers with power,
And, walking by faith, He upholds me each hour.